Nothing is Everywhere

Monday, March 19, 2012  Day 10

A little over a week ago I had just returned from one of the richest areas in DC when Phillip’s dad called me about graduation plans for when we return in May. We spent a few moments discussing some details and I could tell there was something unsettling about his voice. He brought up out traveling and asked if I was prepared. I responded with a nervous, “I hope so.”

Then he said something to me. Something that didn’t really mean much to me at that time and something that I have not thought much of since…until now that is.

He said, “It will change your life forever.”

I pulled out my camera tonight to try and pick out a photo to email to my sister. I went trough some of the ones I took from last week and as I did I recalled some of my initial thoughts as I was taking the photos…It amazed me! I was astonished at how quickly my perception of things has changed in just one week!

When we arrived, I was uneasy about so many many things:

1.     The lack of modesty- most women and children go naked here

2.     The lack of medical resources- the hospital is very primal and basic is an overestimate. “Improvise” is often the word of the day.

3.     The housing conditions- most houses have unlevel foundations with cracks in the walls and scraps of tin on the roof.

4.     No electricity- no one has it but some still find ways to maintain luxuries without it.

5.     Lack of transportation- No one has a car, few have motorbikes and every road is LONG and HARD

Those are just a few of the things, I could go on to include water, food, clothes, sanitation- all of the basic necessities useful for sustaining life.

Today, we have walked past those places I took photos of last week at least a dozen times. I do not notice the naked children on the porches anymore because they at least have a porch to stand on, or the cracks in the walls because at least they have walls and don’t live in a hut. I don’t notice the washed out roads that we walk because at least it means they are well worn between neighbors’ homes.  The medical supplies we use are often second hand or not used for the intended purpose, but at least they have a way to make things work when needed.

I began to realize today that my outlook on things had COMPLETELY turned around. His words came back to me, “It will change your life forever”. My chin almost hit the ground. I never realized before how true that statement would be.

When I first heard it I thought, “Yeah, I hope you’re right. I hope I become more grateful for the things I have. I hope it changes the way I practice medicine and the decisions I make in my career. I hope it brings me closer to God. I hope it transforms my relationship with Him. I hope it changes my relationship with Phillip. I hope it makes us appreciate one another more.”

I never really thought about how any of those things would quite transpire. I never dreamed that I would be staring myself in the face screaming, “you fool!”  I never realized that by asking for my relationship with my Savior to be transformed, that I would have His face revealed to me in so many ways. Nor did I realize that I would be the one doing all the transforming!

I’ve never been much of an optimist and don’t think that I don’t still have my moments, but I believe that to place yourself among disparity in the heart of hopelessness, you have to find something to believe in. Without much else to go on besides faith, you grow increasingly dependent upon it, and again you begin to notice that you are grateful for all that you have (and not in that superficial American way of stating it but not FEELING it) because on that same level you are forced to SEE that you could have NOTHING.

Nothing is easy to find here. Just look around…it’s everywhere.

P.S. I am anticipating the discharge of my patient with the febrile seizures tomorrow. He is doing great!!